Dear Kurt

Chronicles from The Porch Swing.

Breathing life into words I pressed on paper while my beloved was in hospice.

June 1, 2017

Dear Kurt,

Then we cried and said we were sorry for holding our feelings back and always trying to be strong for each other. And then, at the last minute, we broke. We broke down. We didn't want to break on each other.

How frivolous we are with our hearts to not allow each other into our vulnerability. Into that sweet spot of real, raw, pure emotion.

What were we so afraid of, my beloved. Being seen by you by me.

This place we are in is brutal. It's tangible. It's awakening.

It's beautiful.

What were we waiting for, my beloved. My body and your body are home. Your heartbeat. Mine. Together. All this time, building, bonding, and belonging.

Light broke in today, my beloved.

Because today, we discovered something made new. The deepest place in our hearts that hold the sacred so close. It's unseen. This place is not seen. It's a place where faith holds the key to the door turning despair into hope, where on the other side is grace weaving and breathing and tethering.

This place we shared together, they call vulnerability, makes letting you go into eternal living life tangible. Now I understand.

Nothing. Can take this from you, from me. It belongs to you, to me.

My beloved, how beautiful it is; we let each other into it

Finally...

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